She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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