Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
