Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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