Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
