So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
