He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
