Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
