I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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