Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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