It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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