i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
