Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
