Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
