She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
