How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
