I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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