Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize