Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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