Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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