this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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