It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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