Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
