Pappa wants mamma naked
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
