What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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