So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
