This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
