he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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