Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
