is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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