This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize