My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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