so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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