i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
