He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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