so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Randomize
