Screwed.edu
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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