is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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