their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
What a dumb baby whore.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
