I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
