You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
