Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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