Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
