I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When did angry sex become our thing?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
