they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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