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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  how drunk are you?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  What does that even mean anymore?

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.

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• (347): View more from New York

  Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live

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