I just made out with a guy for $7.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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