I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize