Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
