I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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