Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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