It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
