Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
