I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
