If i come over, it means nothing
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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