You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize