wat bout pragnant strippers??
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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