apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize