i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
last night I used snow as a chaser
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
