ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
