do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
