so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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