help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize